WARNING* Incredibly Spiteful Post

Im terrified.

For the last how ever many weeks i have completely suppressed all my worries and stress related to our dreaded UAI. Every single time that topic was mentioned i would nonchalently wave it off and laugh about the whole fiasco.

But then tonight I went through the newly released HSC top 20 subject rankings. It was depressing. I regretted looking through the lists as soon as i'd gotten to F.

French. I felt so guilty. I felt like we'd failed Ms Matkovich. Maybe it was our self assurance in aceing that subject that caused our downfall. Not a single state rank.

For the first time in 6yrs, I was ashamed to say i went to Syd G. I became a traitor.

Now as i write this, Im angry at myself for letting myself betray our school because of my competitiveness. Im still much too shocked at how amazingly well some other schools did. So shocked that im feeling incredibly spiteful.

This post should be titled "WARNING* Incredibly Spiteful Post"

Ive decided that tomorrow, im not going to check my marks for the indiv subjects. It'll drive me insane having to wait another 24hrs. If i did, i wouldve had to write another spiteful post which I really dont wish to.

Congrats Jenny J [if you read this]